Entry 1 From an American guy

Now, I’ve been in china for three months. But, I haven’t been keeping a blog like this until right now. First post you'll show me some love. I suppose it's a matter of gestation, needing some time to ferment everything. After all China is A. Massive, and B. Hectic, everything is in a swirl of movement, takes some time to think through what you're seeing.

So now we're going to do some back up story, I came here in January, exactly on American New Years. An auspicious beginning if there ever was one. The flight to China didn't go exactly as planned, for whatever in life ever goes exactly as planned. I arrived in Shanghai after an 11 hours flight at midnight, looking like an ill-tempered zombie I'm sure. An hour of time was used to pass through customs and dear lord put that visa that I struggled over to good use, AND to collect my boulders of luggage. By the time this was all done it was well past midnight, then, I was to catch a bus outside of the airport and ride it to a hotel close by, where I would graciously be provided a room for the night. That's right my first night in China and I was being treated to a fancy hotel room, this was definitely the right choice. Oh by the way they weren't providing me a hotel JUST to be nice, my flight from America had been delayed eight freaking hours, way later than the time I was supposed to arrive in Shanghai, this made me obviously miss the connecting flight to Nanjing where I would have met the family. So the airline put me up for the night no strings attached. Then I would catch the flight to Nanjing the next day and be on my merry way to the hopefully wonderful arms of my host family. Along the way, ASC is always by my side, working with me and texting me throughout all of this, keeping spirits high and making sure I didn't lapse into a sleep deprived coma. From the very beginning, ASC has been a pillar of strength and support, thanks ASC.

I also want to mention, I got to haggle my first night in China. That's right, getting super friendly with the locals. Since I arrived so late, the bus that was supposed to take me to the hotel, had conveniently stopped running, great knowing this, there was a bevy of taxi drivers around, spotting a chance to make a few RMB off of us airport cattle. Us needing some ways to get to our hotels so late in the evening, they knew we would need them too. Eventually I caught on, there was definitely no bus around, and after watching my fellow nighttime flight mates slowly disappearing of with these drivers, so, the driver and I got our cross cultural communication going, he quickly explained that yes the bus is long gone, and that he would drive me to the hotel. This is where I prove that I'm definitely not the brightest bulb in the room. I asked how much it would cost to get to the hotel, he explained that it's really close by, only 10 RMB. To my exhausted brain and no logic whatsoever, I told him I wanted to pay less, he kindly told me, "no" and that concluded my career as a hotshot businessman. I also want to point out that his car was parked, through a maze of bushes and barbed wire. To me this gave an impression of, dear lord am I going to be kidnapped? I wasn't kidnapped by the way, he was a nice guy, I wish I had made friends with him and snagged his Wechat. We made it to the hotel and I quickly made best friends with the bed instead. Thus ending my day and a half journey from America to China. This was my first experience in China. I got to have a fancy hotel room to myself, complete with a TV and instant coffee. Things were looking up, by midnight the next day I would meet the family, ASC and get started on this whole, Au pair thing. That's it, tune in next time for more thrilling descriptions of life in China. 

Au Pair Diary Ⅱ From a Russian Girl

My life now:

I feel much better now. I like my host family, I like the  kids. I really have a feeling of "elder sister".

Also I notice they have been improving their English. It makes me feel so good because I really spend a lot of energy for that.

Of course in the end of a week  I feel so tired (psychically) and exhaust (emotionally).  Honestly it's really hard to be with children all the time, even if I like them because I always take  to heart  everything.  It means I'm almost never relaxed with children. So,  my days-off help me to recuperate and start a new week. Hah, yes,  for me a week begins on Friday and ends on Wednesday because my day-off is Thursday :)

So, now I  got used  to live in China. Of course I can't say, I got used to everything here.  

Sometimes I still can't understand if I do something right or wrong. I see the difference between our cultures. Actually I'm used to live western way that's why from time to time I have a feeling like I do something wrong. I wouldn't like my host family and others think I'm a rude girl because I never do something rude or bad purposely.  I'd like my host family and Chinese friends tell me if I do something wrong. It's my bad side. Each time when I make mistakes I always suffer a lot.

 I do like:

1. To eat by chopsticks :D

2. To open something new for me

3. To learn Chinese lifestyle

4. To meet new interesting people

5. To talk to my host mom

6. Chinese food (especially fruits and fried vegetables)

7. China helps me to learn me and open my hidden sides.

What have been helping me to adapt?

* First of all it's my host mom. She is so perfect. She is a beautiful, smart and open-minded woman. I think I'm so lucky to be an au-pair in this family. She really does everything to make me feel like I'm at my real home. Also I like to talk to her as with a friend. It's great because she tells me many interesting things and I may share with my stories and trust her some secrets. I'm so thankful to her.

* My new friends. I met really nice people here. Wherever I have lived  for me it was always very important to find someone whom  I could talk, go out and have fun with. When I'd just come to China  I realized that almost nobody spoke English. So I felt loneliness.  But then almost every day I met new persons who wanted and could talk to me. Finally I have  found the good friends who really make my life better. Each time when I chill with them I truly feel so relaxed! They make me forget my troubles, cares and worries and help me enjoy my Chinese life. Emotionally it's quite complicated to be with children all the time. That's why my days off give me a  fit of energy for а next week. And they let me feel the lovely freedom.

* My family, close friends and bf. They helped and supported me very much!!  Even if my parents didn't want me to go to China, as I said before.  Anyway when I came to China they always called me and supported me. My close friends and  bf knew my real emotions and feelings and they wrote me every day, cheered me up and made me feel better.  I'm unreal thankful to them.

* My business. I have a lot of things to do when I have free time. That's why I'm never bored. For example,  I read 3 different books, I have a blog and I should write the articles,  I still learn French and Spanish + now I learn Chinese, and also I help my friends with English and do some exercises for improving my level. I play piano, I help my Argentinian  friend with his Argentinian - Chinese cultural project and etc.

* My personality. First of all I  know my host family spent a lot energy, time and money to find me and invite me. I respect it that's why  I should do my best. In the second place it's a feeling of responsibility.   If I started  to do something I must finish it. I suppose it's too easy to give up. Sometimes I think November is so far. But I know I'll  be proud of me when I have done that! More by token I always can find positive sides of anything and I can be patient when I dislike something.

Also it's important to be able  to accept  the new things even if you don't like them. Honestly I can't say I like everything in China, but I'm able to accept that and make up my mind to that.

I guess there are necessary traits for au-pairs:  being open-minded, easy-going, responsible,  talkative, positive, adaptive.

Generally, I like China. I'm so happy  to have this kind of experience. And  I'm very glad to learn one of the hardiest languages in the world!!

China helps me understand who I am. 

Au Pair Diary ⅠFrom a Russian Girl

How to be an au-pair in China. My thoughts and feelings.

I came to China about 2 months ago. However, I  have a feeling like I've been living here  already for 5 months. Especially my first month seemed so  interminable.  I guess it was like that because I got too much new information.  Also my lifestyle changed a lot.  My psyche needed the time  to adapt to new way of life.

When I told  my parents and my friends about my trip to China, they thought I went bugs because:

1. I will live in China for 6 months. People in Russia have no idea how the life in China is. I knew my parents wouldn't like me to go there that's why I told them about my trip only when I had bought the tickets. After my coming I told  them a lot of interesting facts about China, the life and people here and about my new lifestyle. That's why my parents stopped to worry.

2. I will live with children. Everyone suggested me to leave this idea. :D

First impression:

I had the exhaust flight to China + nobody spoke English + everything was so different + I had troubles with connection  = I can't say my first impression about China was very good. But I had  changed my mind later.

To be honest I worried a lot before meeting with family. First of all I worried of children's reaction.  If they didn't like me or didn't want me to be with them, it would be very complicated to live with them till November. Secondly I worried about parents' expectations and I didn't want them to disappoint.   

Nevertheless I had a good first impression about family. Children were glad to meet me, parents were very nice with me. I liked the atmosphere in their home that's why I felt better.

I started to live new way and I got  some difficulties.

The most complicated things:

1) Before my coming to China I had been living alone for 2 years far from my parents, that's why I was  totally independent. It means I had the unlimited freedom. Here my situation  had changed completely.  It means  I  lost the  freedom, the part of my  possibilities and autonomy and got  new rules.  Of course  I understand it's a part of Au-pair program.  And I was ready to that but anyway I needed the time to get used to live new way. (I think it's one most difficult things  for au-pairs in general)

2) It's a feeling of  "being useless".  I had this feeling  In the beginning when I was a new person for children and they didn't want to speak English.  I really worried  if they will never speak English with me. Also I wanted to be busier than I was. I mean I wanted to do more for family and for children (I still want to do more for them).

Now the situation  has changed and kids use English words more and more. They just need the time. Once I realized English for them is like Chinese for me.  And I'm sure children know more English words than I do Chinese. :D

3) Children's relation to me.  At first I should become a friend for children because it's very important to be a lovely person for them. I suppose I've done it. I think so  because they like to spend their time with me. But there is a dark side of it. Now they don't see the difference between us. For them I'm like a coeval. That's why they don't understand when I ask them seriously to stop doing something because they think I play with them. And also I can't teach them like a teacher and the only way to teach them English is our mutual action.

4) During first 2-3 weeks it's impossible to have a feeling of "elder sister". It means  for an au-pair it's  a new "job". So,  psychologically it's really very hard  because it's like you live "at work" with your "boss" and you can't leave it.

So, indeed  the first  2-3 weeks were very difficult. It was the hardest time for me in China. I was afraid of making mistakes because I wanted to meet the expectations. I couldn't exactly understand that I should do with children. I was calming down when I thought: "If my host family didn't like me, they would let me know". For me it was very important to get feedback either good or bad. And it's still very important to get a feedback.

Moreover  emotionally it was so complicated to become a friend for children. First of all it was because they didn't understand me. I couldn't explain them what I wanted to do or why I did something. At the same time I couldn't understand them.  Secondly all children have their  own world and this world is different. So, you should be very flexible and adroit to be accepted there.

Also it was the time of changing my habits, getting use to live new way. I'm used to move, to change the houses and the jobs that's why  I know it's always hard to change the habits and the lifestyle. This time was the most difficult though.  Probably it was such way because my lifestyle had changed completely. But  I know this experience will give me much more than others did.

Welcome American guy Robert to our family in Jiangsu Province! He takes to Chinese life very soon. Family are so happy with his good nature: optimistic,brave,open-minded which are typical American style. Enjoy your life in China!

host family in Su Zhou,China

The family in Su Zhou,China is inviting an aupair stay with them for 3 months,the room in the first pic is for aupair,is it cozy and beatiful?

She is Daniela,from Mexico. She started her aupair life in April,now she is getting quite well with family in Shanghai. Everything is novel to her, as time goes by, she will get to know more about Chinese life!

How we, ASC would match au pairs with host families?

For the host families’ part, which is all well-off and well-educated, we would do surveys into different parts, e.g. doing home visiting, to know well about their needs and requirements and to consider whether they are suite or not to live with a foreigner. After , list several candidates for them to choose; for au pairs , after filled the application form, we would try to know more about their background , education experience, religions, qualities and preferences. If all the conditions are perfect, we would invite them to join us. After their arrival in China, we would make some basic training about the life here to help them to adapt quickly. For several invitations may from different host families, they can also make their choice. And after the match succeeds, there would also be series training for both families and au pairs during the whole program, to let them know each other better and feel well living together for the culture difference.
For more information,please have a look at our website:
www.asc-center.com